Ever get caught off guard by a question or statement? You end up reacting with your most primal emotion. You may even overreact and regret it later. I’ve been there plenty of times. Then there’s the flip-side of not getting the best reaction from others. Finally, the solution to this recurring problem hit me!
Sometimes I approach situations better than at other times. I noticed that when someone comes to me asking for help solving a problem, I’m able properly think through the solution much better, than if I had to solve the problem myself to begin with.
Finally it hit me. The reason for proper thinking when approached with a problem IS the solution to getting caught off guard.
It’s simple: say what you will do, before you do it.
If you are about to ask a question, say it, “I have a question”. If you are about to break bad news, say “I have some bad news”. If you are about to announce a change of direction on a project, say it “We have some news about the direction of the project”.
Describing an upcoming action prepares the listener for what type of conversation they are going to have. It gives them a chance to put on the right thinking hat.
When someone says “we need to have a serious conversation”, you mentally get ready for a serious conversion. If your wife just starts talking about your mother-law coming to visit for a month, you may have a very different reaction. So when someone comes up to me and says “Hey, can you help me solve this problem?” I mentally prepare to solve a problem. On the other hand, when I’m suddenly faced with solving a problem without mental preparation, I may not be wearing the problem solving hat.
Career Carrot 